Where the F*#@ Are We??

Where the F*#@ Are We??
by Dick Mauer

During the early 80s I was the ASU Investigator in Buffalo Sector 
and did quite a bit of "liaison" with Canadian Cops all over the 
Province of Ontario and in the city of Toronto. RCMP, OPP, and Toronto 
Metro Police all had first class, top flight Officers, many of whom were 
also first class, top flight characters. I'm thinking of many 
individuals and escapades that are worthy of recuerdos, but one Toronto 
Metro Cop is the subject of this story.

    Mike King was born outside of London,  England and was a tall good 
looking cop who had been a member of the Royal Hong Kong Constabulary 
prior to joining the Toronto Metro Police Force. Mike spoke fluent 
Chinese and when I met him was running Metro's Chinese Gang/Gambling 
Unit. The Chinese are avid gamblers and Mike's Unit would conduct raids 
on illegal gambling houses in Toronto's huge Chinatown area. I was 
invited to accompany the Unit on a few of these raids and they were eye 
opening events to say the least.  Mike had a VAST array of informants 
due to his language abilities and his Unit was involved in raids on an 
almost nightly schedule. The Chinatown buildings were a hodgepodge of 
additions and alleys and the Unit approached the entrances warily as 
they had to spot and grab the lookouts posted on the street who would 
alert the gamblers that a raid was coming.

Once inside the door of an establishment you were faced with a maze 
constructed by the operators that forced you to run through it before 
entering the actual gambling hall. The purpose of this was to allow the 
gamblers time to drop their cards, dice, and money and back away from 
the tables before Police could actually see them gambling. The object 
was that then they could only be charged with being found in a gambling 
house (a misdemeanor) rather than illegal gambling (a felony) Everyone 
found there would be cited and all money on the tables and equipment 
would be seized. The operator was identified, and charged and he was 
allowed to collect all the customers citations. The practice was that 
the operator pays everyone's fine. (about a $10.00 fine at the time) The 
game moves and the same people can be found at the new location the next 
night. Mike's unit kept the pressure on and I guess eventually drove the 
Operators out of town.

Some years later Mike was at Buffalo Sector for some reason and he 
and I (now the PAIC) were going out for a bite to eat when the tone 
sounded on the International Railroad Bridge indicating an illegal entry 
from Canada. The radio operator determined, from our primitive camera 
set up, that two individuals with backpacks had EWI'd. The on duty Agent 
radioed that he was on another call and would not get there in time to 
intercept the pair. I got on the air and said that I would try to cover 
it but when Mike and I arrived in the bridge area there was nobody to be 
seen. We continued south on Niagara Street (in the general direction to 
Florida) and soon observed two guys with backpacks hot footing it 
towards downtown (and the Greyhound Bus Depot). I pointed them out to 
Mike and pulled along side them in an unmarked car. Mike jumped out, 
pulled out his badge, and in his best limey accent yelled "stop, Toronto 
Metro Police, you're under arrest!!" You never saw two more confused 
Canadians, standing there, scratching their heads, looking around, and 
saying over and over, "Where the f*#@ are we??"